I Am Not Your Jane is an epistolary fiction project.

Dear Jane, #9

Re: The Knicks

My father is very much a Knicks fan. Long-suffering, yes, but a Knicks fan nevertheless. I cannot understand it. Damn, maybe it is self-punishment.

Not a Knicks fan: My dog (the aforementioned Gopher), who can’t stand bouncing balls that he cannot chase. Even on television. True story: When any sport where you can actually hear the ball bouncing comes on, he tries to tear the TV off the wall. Fortunately, he weighs eight pounds, so this is mostly a matter of throwing himself at the cord that connects the TV to the cable box. He did succeed once in knocking the box off the table and landing the corner of it directly on my big toe when I was trying to get him to calm down. I can’t say it was my most gruesome injury (that one involved a hammer and I promise you don’t want to know), but it was the only one I can really blame on the cat-sized dog.

Come to think of it, he did once nip My Jane (the ex) when we were living together, but she was pretty much unable to hide her contempt for him (even though he was hers first!), so I can’t really blame him.

I don’t know whether you’re a dog person, so I apologize if this is way too much detail.

Sam

Dear Sam, #10

Dear Sam, #8